There are few greater tragedies in today’s world then a broken home.
You break a home, you break yourself. You break generations worth of love, potential, and spirit.
You can talk about pro life. But more should talk about pro-home . . . the spirits that are broken when a home is broken is tragic. The first spirit broken is your own.
All that you become because of the other people in your life is now lost. You don’t know what you built until it is gone.
First off, some facts from Dr. Gottman:
- You can’t change other people. Thinking so is a form of abuse, a from of hyper control.
- Of all the disagreements you bring into a marriage, you will end up agreeing upon 30% of anything with your spouse.
- That means that 70% of the disagreements you have when first married are going to go unresolved.
- You have to learn to live with the unresolved. It is the only spiritual path you have.
- Thinking you will have ultimate control over your environment once you are married will lead to tragedy . . . drug abuse, physical or mental abuse, infidelity. In other words fight (abuse) or flight (drugs or infidelity).
Keeping your home full of spirit and life is the equivalent of a spiritual journey that no church, in today’s world can offer, especially from a group of old, unmarried men.
Keeping a home full of spirit and life is a work in progress. And art and at times a science. It takes faith and belief. And unfortunately, it takes two, which means, fortunately, it takes vulnerability and a lack of control.
Reasons to break a home:
- Physical Abuse
- Emotional, Mental, and Spiritual Abuse
- Drug Addiction
Be practical. Make the agreement that who ever does those things above leaves the home with nothing. It doesn’t really work, if someone is an addict of drugs or abuse because addicts don’t live in reality. But when people are sober and together in the beginning, that is the agreement to have. Formal or informal.
If you can play the limitations in a marriage, the spiritual rewards, the true rewards in life are waiting.
People love to escape, even reasonable limitations.
- Men / Women are not built to be monogamous. If you are an animal, maybe. If you are a human, that is the spiritual challenge.
- Vanity. Window shopping for what might be a better deal, or a better opportunity.
- Willingness to break everything just to start new.
Circle of Love and Safety
Men and woman can not be friends. If you are married, your opposite sex friends are now either joint friends or not friends. No lunches, no meals, no friendly dates. It is simple. You don’t let your animal run around the neighborhood freely.
Human nature is a tricky thing. You have to be very aware that you are blinded many times throughout your life. That the light of the day disappears but then comes back. We all go through cycles. Yes. You need to keep yourself safe from unnecessary temptations. Be afraid. Very afraid of some things in this life.
- A person willing to break up a marriage is not a person you want to marry.
- So what are you thinking about. It is the liar’s curse. You want to be a part of that curse? You break it and, you then are one of those people . . . You are someone no one can trust to marry.